Dear Depression

Going through a difficult time?
Like Churchill said “If you’re going through hell, keep going!”

I deal with a lot of different issues. Frustrating, aggravating, and I work on managing the stress as much as I can. Some days are more overwhelming than others. I have good days as well, but it’s easy to do great when you’re having a great day.

It’s on those bad days when I have to push through and remember what I’m doing it all for.

I’ve almost given up multiple times in my life. Thought I wouldn’t see another day. I’ve had depression since I was 12 or 13. I have anger issues, anxiety, and a general self-loathing that looms over my entire existence. I deal with this every day.

Yes. On my good days. On my bad days. Do you want to know what gets me through? I have the desire to do better for my family, and the love for them.

I set goals, and bury myself in my work. I don’t talk about my depression with people, but there are a few people that know me that know that I have depression.

Don’t get me wrong, I have good feelings as well, and I work really hard not to let myself fall down in the hole.

I have learned how to restructure my internal dialogue, I’ve tried meditation, exercise, drinking, medication prescribed by a doctor, art, writing, escapism, you name it.

I have read many books on leadership and self-development.

I have stood up for myself and others against harassment and bullying. I have offered encouragement to others who have been suicidal, and depressed.

I have lost friendships over it. Either because they were afraid, or simply didn’t want to deal with me after they found out I had depression. The stigma of depression is a heavy weight to bear.

It’s only been the last 10 years or so but I felt more comfortable having those conversations about depression with myself and with others.

I watched the video yesterday that I shared about Kerwin Rae, and I listen to his podcast. His friend was talking about how freeing it was to be open and honest with people about his depression and addiction.

I don’t like to think of myself as being a broken person, I like to view myself as a work in progress.

It’s one of the reasons why I’m able to identify with other people who are dealing with mental health issues. The funny thing is, there’s no one solve it all for everybody. What works for one person may work for another, or it may not. It’s not a “take two aspirin and call me in the morning “kind of solution.

One of things that has helped me is grit. Resolving not to give up when everything seems lost. I often think about Churchhill’s “If you’re going through hell, keep going!”

I failed at a lot of things in my life. I’ve let a lot of people down. I’ve let myself down. This isn’t going to be a happy ending kind of post. Just want to share with you that you’re not alone.

Greta

Greta

Left her

I remember talking with her

Before she passed

She said the words left her

She was a poet,

you know

When her time came,

She knew

She said she had no flavor for life,

Anymore

Nothing was right,

Anymore

She won the awards,

Attended the shows

But the light dimmed,

And she knew her time ended soon

She told me I was a champion

Believing in me, even

When I didn’t

She must have seen a spark

Now that I am a writer

I think of those days

When we would sit and talk

About the old days

She was kind

And gentle

But she was always loving with me

She knew

And told me as much

Now I can see her face

And remember her voice

Greta

I still hear you

And your words speak through me now


Greta is a poem dedicated to my Grandma Greta. We would visit and talk about a lot of things when I moved to Savannah, Georgia in 1996. She was always kind to me and encouraged me to go for it.
You can find Greta and other poems in Random Meanderings. https://amzn.to/3774NH0

The Adam Messer Show Podcast Extravaganza!

The Adam Messer Show Podcast Extravaganza!


Four brand new episodes you can binge listen to right now!
#18 – Emilie Kefalas – author and illustrator of A Capitol Dream#19 – Rachael Bell – serial killer expert and creator of true-crime podcast Crimes Unlimited. #20 – Terry Drehmel – comic book creator mind behind The SteeRange Comics and Professor Macaroni. #21 – Siris Rivas-Verdejo – Speech-language pathologist and founder of Empowering Light Language, LLC.
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Blood Thrasher: Vinyl All Night Pre-order available now!

Get ready for the exciting sequel of the Savannah Vampire Novel series Blood Thrasher! Coming out New Years Day 2020!


Only 99 cents for the pre-order, after that it will be $2.99 USD.
Bonus! Sign up for my email list and get a free ebook copy of Blood Thrasher : The Devil’s in the Metal sent to your inbox. www.adammesser.net


Blood Thrasher: Vinyl All Night
After Anna and Greg narrowly escaped the bloody vampire massacre in Savannah, they seek refuge under Lars Krieger’s coven in Seattle. Under the auspices of a record store open from dusk ’til dawn, Vinyl All Night offers them a chance to relax and recover. Or does it?
After taking off to have a night on the town, Greg finds himself fighting for his life when an old adversary emerges from the shadows. Greg owes a debt of blood, and the shadow figure intends to collect on the blood oath.
Anna and her newfound friends must fight tooth and nail if they are to save Greg from his fate.
Blood Thrasher: Vinyl All Night is the exciting next installment of the Savannah Vampire Novel series, describing the events of the bloody vampire massacre of 1989, chronicling the utter destruction of the Coven of Savannah.
https://amzn.to/33GMru1

Keep writing brave author!

Keep #writing , even if your word count may not be where you want! @NaNoWriMo | Read their #books about #writing , and forge ahead brave #author @savethecat @JessicaBrody @ANNELAMOTT @StephenKing ‬#nanowrimo #nanowrimo2019 #amwriting